CASH MICHAELS
DON'T CRY, REPUBLICANS. I HAVE AWARDS FOR YOU!
by Cash Michaels
Republicans, your collective, arrogant behavior during the 2026 midterm elections was so bad, so disgusting, you deserve my custom-made 2026 Midterm Election Losers Awards - the only political awards in the world dedicated to recognizing the worst politicians, if not worst human beings, on the planet.
Our very first “worst” honor is the “You Wasted Our Damn Time with Nasty and Worthless TV Campaign Ads” award. Needless to say, most of the award winners for nastiest campaign commercials are any and every Republican who ran for office who actually thought using spineless scare tactics with blatant transphobic rhetoric, racism, and out and out lies about your Democratic opponent, instead of telling voters what your plan is to get Americans back on their economic feet, was going to work.
You clowns thought more voters would be concerned with fighting your stupid culture wars instead of caring about feeding their families and struggling to afford the high cost of living you created. Well, YOU were dead wrong!
So big Republican losers like you, Michael Whatley, you Ken Paxton, and you, Mike Rogers, not to mention tons of other Republicans across North Carolina and nation, make room in your home for this distinguished honor, because history will show that during the 2026 midterm election season, all of you outdid yourselves with the worst gutter politics imaginable.
You should be proud…NOT!
The next honor for you crafty Republicans is the heralded “Thought You Were Too Slick By Half” award. This goes to what is now the outgoing Republican majority of the NC House which, along with the Republican-led NC Senate, redrew the once predominately Black First Congressional District into a predominately White Republican voting district, thinking doing so would be political manna from Heaven. Boy did Democratic incumbent Congressman Don Davis prove you clowns wrong, beating your lame GOP candidate Laurie Buckout for a second time in a row… this time in a Republican district, no less! Talk about shame of shames (tee-hee)!
Next, the singular winner of the “I Can Buy as Many Republicans as I Want” award goes to none other than the touted richest man in the world, Tesla and Space X industrialist Elon Musk, who reportedly dropped an insane $200 million+ into crazy Ken Paxton’s failed Texas Senate campaign alone. And that was just some of the multi-millions Musk has pumped into GOP campaiges, hoping to keep Republicans in control of Congress.
What a waste!
Another negative, but well-deserved recognition to give worthy Republicans is the “Who You Callin’ Crazy ?” award. Since the GOP was painfully devoid of any positive recommendations to offer the American people for solving the affordability crisis (primarily because along with Trump, you allowed it to happen), you began referring to Democrats as “crazed lunatics and radicals,” and “communists and extremists” who would “destroy America.”
Didn’t work, Einsteins!
Apparently the era of just having strong public policy disagreements and debates is long over for Republicans. Violent, senseless language and juvenile political labels seem to be the coin of the realm for you guys. The vile, racist, islamophobic taunts thrown at Democratic Senate candidate Dr. Abdul El-Sayed in Michigan, for example, were extremely disturbing and disgusting, and should never have a place in American politics.
Period!
Then there’s the special “Just Whose Side Are You On?” award, and surprise, this one is given to a now former Democrat, Michigan Congresswoman Haley Stevens, the whack job sore loser who most distinguished herself recently as another petty, two-faced and despicable political turncoat, second only to North Carolina representatives Tricia Cotham (who was finally ousted election night) Carla Cunningham, Nasif Majeed and Shelly Gillingham. Stevens’ bizarre post Halloween /pre-Election Day betrayal of former Democratic colleague Dr. Abdul El-Sayed by suddenly endorsing Republican Senate candidate Mike Rogers, despite all of Rogers’ history with Donald Trump, and racist campaign ads against Sayed, was jaw dropping. This crackpot should never, and I mean NEVER, hold political office again. I trust the good people of Michigan will make sure that happens!
Before we go on any further, I bet you’re wondering if we have any “good behavior” recognitions for Republicans? The answer is Hell no! Especially if they were Trump MAGA! That brings us to our last “honor” for Republicans - the “How Low Can You Go” award, given to Republican politicians who displayed a propensity for scraping the absolute bottom of the morality and decency barrel.
And it’s a three-way tie, ladies and gentlemen! Both Pres. Donald Trump and Vice President J.D. Vance have long distinguished themselves as mean-spirited and totally clueless clowns long before the 2026 midterms. Both are proven cold-blooded liars who lead with their corrupt politics, not with a scintilla of human decency or common sense. Add to that dynamic duo absolute loser Ohio gubernatorial candidate Vivek Ramaswamy who sponsored an extremely crass political ad you’ll recall, featuring the estranged mother of his Democratic opponent openly calling her a liar about the fact that she was an alleged child rape victim of her father
Trump and Vance actually defended this monstrosity of a campaign tactic. In fact, they usually have a very bad habit of defending the indefensible, like racism, sexism and blatant falsehoods about their Iran war, the high cost of living, and the needless economic suffering most Americans are going through because of their senseless policies.
Talk about low. This is an administration that was responsible for innocent American citizens and undocumented immigrants being fatally shot down in the streets by ICE and Border Patrol officers; billions of dollars of government corruption; hundreds of millions in taxpayer dollars spent on ridiculous self-glorification projects; and a runaway war in Iran that is costing the nation dearly in lives and money.
And of course, these two-faced GOP’ers never hesitated to bellow that “God is on our side,” even if they were up to the most evil and corrupt schemes possible.
So those are the well-earned awards Trump, Vance and the Republicans deserve for much of the low, hateful crap they pulled during this election season. They didn’t care who they hurt with their lies, rhetoric and attacks. Well, I guess the midterm “blue wave” election proved the joke is on them.
Oh, and let’s not forget, speaking of going low, the unbridled hatred displayed by the Trump Administration towards anything that smacked of diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) or celebrating any American history that honored the vital contributions of African-Americans to this country. Trump’s efforts to erase Black people from America’s history and achievements were disgraceful.
Well guess what? Black voters from North Carolina and throughout the South wrote Trump and the Republicans a new chapter in American history Election night. And it was a hard lesson, baby, wasn’t it?
As awful as the Republicans behaved, that’s how great the Democrats here in North Carolina and the rest of the nation were. They were strong, tough, focused and stayed on message. Democrats were also smart and unflinching in the face of adversity. When it looked like Trump, the Republican majority in Congress and the conservative-led US Supreme Court would just roll over them with disabling laws, racial gerrymandering and ridiculous rulings, Democrats hunkered down, got their act together, and paid attention to the mindless mistakes a power hungry and corrupt president and co. were making, taking advantage of those errors and opportunities.
Democrats were unified in their message promising to stand up for Americans suffering from high prices at the pump and the grocery store, as well as putting a stronger check on Trump’s corruption in office.
The result - Democrats won big time Tuesday night, making historic gains all over the country, including here in North Carolina, where they took over the NC House for the first time in sixteen years, and even unseated several Republican congressional incumbents like Tim Moore and Virginia Foxx. That’s why we proudly award Democrats the “Keep Standing Strong” award.
Dems, I have no bad awards for you after that boffo performance. Only the gratitude of a grateful nation that feels good about itself again.
But make no mistake, voters fully expect that you’ll get right to work improving the economy like you promised, and making life better for all. Sure, give the crook-in-chief Holy Hell during his last two years in office, but just don’t forget why we put you back in control.
There can, and will be a better America again, Democrats, but only if you keep your word. On Election Day, America struck back!
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